Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
