im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize