It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize