After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize