I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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