Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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