Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize