he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
