now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
