At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
