I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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