You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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