Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
