You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
