wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
