I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
