my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize