I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
