You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Buhtt sex?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
