Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
