Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
