Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
