please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
