mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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