You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
