if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
