we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
