So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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