is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
