oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
