Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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