Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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