Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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