Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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