I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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