I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
