i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize