im drinking this country out of the recession.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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