Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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