Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
