The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Less talking, more tequila
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
