She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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