Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
