Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
