Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
