This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
do nipples grow back?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize