We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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