Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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