you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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