I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I want a musical about memes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
