just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
