You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
