Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
