There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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