Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
