absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
