I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
