East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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