when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
