My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
